What Has Happened To Love?

I just needed to run into the store to grab a picture frame for Baby Sister's room. As I was taking a little time to browse through my favorite aisles I met her - my sweet friend who has been bravely following God's call and her husband's leading through some difficult twists and turns.

We started chatting and our hearts connected as time flew by in a way that made me think we must've been in a time machine.

She refreshed and encouraged my soul, yet I walked away with questions. 

Why Mommies? Why are we so critical of each other?​

My dear friend and her family are seeking God. They have willingly let God take away one support post after another, replacing it with Himself, and yet they have faced criticism from those who are supposed to be their cheer leaders.

It made me stop and think. I like to think that I am full of love and willing to let other people follow God however He calls them too, but deep in my heart I know: I have been one of the  critical ones too.

Slinging mud when I should be offering a drink of cold water and a place of quiet refuge for those navigating through the storms of life.

If not with my words, then definitely in my thoughts and actions. Both are equally dangerous.

My thoughts slowly poison my perception of someone.

My actions, {you know, being silent when I could be encouraging or deliberately steering away from someone who is "different"} have the power to cut to the very center of some sweet Mama's heart. Someone who is doing her absolute best to be the woman God created her to be. 

Not the woman God created me to be.

Someone who is longing for even just a little bit of encouragement and she navigates through her journey.

Why do we insist on holding others up to our own standards? Why do we expect every other woman to be exactly what we cannot be? Perfect.

We want our friends to have a heart, not after God, but after us. After all, if their Christianity doesn't look like ours then they must not be doing it right, right?

If they tend to their children's hearts and emotions, instead of their laundry pile, then they've got it all wrong.

If they like to cook fancy meals, instead of keeping the living room swept up, then they have failed.

If they send their kids to school rather than homeschool, or if they homeschool rather than send their kids to school, then they are surely a selfish, self-centered Mom who does not care who their child turns out to be.

It all sounds pretty malicious and petty when it's spelled out, doesn't it? Yet I think each one of us have been guilty of thinking similar things about our fellow Mommies at some time, if not now. I know I sure have!

We have become fearful of each other, unwilling to bare our hearts and talk about things that really matter. We are missing out on so much soul refreshment because we have forgotten how to love.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect Love casts out fear." 1John 4:18

If we would take that to heart, if we would ask God to plant His perfect love in our hearts, then maybe,  just maybe, the Mommy guilt would start to disappear.

What if we would start building a new habit? What if, for the next 10 times we get to spend time with another Mommy we spread Love?

Compliment your friend. Compliment her organization, the way she dresses her kids, her kind heart, her decor, something, anything!

Everybody has a strong point, something that is important to them, and it's usually pretty obvious because it is the thing that they will focus on. Notice it, talk about it, give the gift of acceptance and confidence.

Maybe you'll be surprised how quickly it will change your own perception about those around you and yourself.

Let us quit shaming those around us and just love.

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