I See You {An Open Letter To Moms That Have Lost A Child}

My Dear Friend,
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You spend time with your girl friends, you talk and laugh with the best of them. You think you are doing a wonderful job at hiding that hole in your heart and you know, you are. But I want you to know something else. I see the grief that is below the surface and I care. I care so much that it hurts.

Did you know there are days when I think about you all day and just want to cry out from the pain of your heart. My heart feels crushed beneath the weight of your sorrow and I wonder how you carry on day after day.  

If you feel like every moment is a choice to go on, I understand.

When you hold your friend's new baby and wonder what it would be like if you could be holding your own, I ache for you

When you rejoice in the girlieness of my daughter I wonder if you are wishing to see your own little girl twirl in pink just one more time.

When you see that 12 year old boy doing such a good job protecting his sisters and your eyes well up because you imagine your son doing the same to his little sisters, I just want to give you the biggest hug in the world.

I don't always have the right words to say when you open up your heart a little bit about your angel child, but I feel honored every time you do it. And I wish you would do it more.

And do you know what else?

I think you are so beautiful in your mess.

You are strong in your grief.

You are loved in your tears.

You are respected in your bravery.

You are so loved on this horrible, hard, crushing journey.

And you are my hero.

So, next time you have a hard day, when the ache is too much to stand, call me and I will listen.

When you hear that "joy comes in the morning" and you don't feel like you will truly see the sun come out from over the horizon until you have the tangible, touchable, tasteable joy of seeing your beloved child again, come and I will cry with you.

Please, do not feel invisible in your grief, because you are not.

I see you.

And you are so loved.