When You Feel Like A Failure And Want To Run Away

Yesterday morning I woke up and I didn't want to adult. I wanted to run away on a long, long vacation in the sun, where nobody expected anything from me. I felt mentally exhausted, and I felt like a failure. 

I had gotten upset at my husband the night before when he didn't react to something way I wanted him to {or the way I thought he should}. I felt child-like and ashamed.

My house was a mess, with laundry, dishes and unfinished projects laying around. I felt like a bad housekeeper.

I had gotten upset with the kids when circumstances were my fault and not theirs. Sometimes I let myself get too caught up on social media and don't pay attention to them when I should be. I feel like a bad Mom.

I didn't get my little girl's hair combed and our little boy took his nap with a little ketchup still on his face. I feel sloppy.

I read a chapter of the  Bible over my coffee, but it was hurried and I felt distracted. I feel like I have no business writing and definitely no business keeping up a blog.

But then God

{Don't you just love that phrase? I sure do!}

But then God told me something. All my failures? That's not who I am. I am who God says I am: blameless & pure before Him. And then He gave me a verse.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." Jeremiah 1:5
​
​I am called.

I am called to be right where I am in life. You are called to be right where you are!

Before our husbands came into our lives, before the babies arrived, before we had our own house to keep, God placed a calling on our lives to be exactly what we are now: a wife, a Mommy, a homemaker, or a mix of 2 or 3 of those.

​And it is an important calling!

It doesn't matter if you feel like a failure or a mess-up today: you are right where God has placed you with His holy calling, so take heart, and look up! There is no better place to be than in God's will, so you have no need to feel like a failure.

{There are times of exhaustion that seem to take over our whole outlook on life, and sometimes, it's ok to take a little furlough and meet a friend for coffee. Even coffee at the park with a friend is a great pick-me-up if you don't have a babysitter for the kids. :)}

But then go home, and rest in the fact that God has called you to be where you are and strive to find joy in all the little tasks that are never finished. Make all those never-ending little jobs an offering of love to Jesus, your husband and to your family.

​Refuse to give into the very popular lie that your life is about you, because it isn't.  I think so much of the discontent we struggle with comes from that lie. And, I can tell you from experience {I'm not going to say how recent! ;)} that it is exhausting to live for yourself. Holding others up to our petty standard is as wearing to our hearts as holding ourselves up to other people's standards.

And after you refuse to give into that lie, refuse to let yourself compare your own talents and abilities to other people. God knew what kind of personality and abilities you would have when He called you, and He still thought you would be exactly the right person to fill the shoes that you're wearing right now. 

So, take heart, dear friend! You are called by the Most High God, and He has a job for you to do! Let us go forth and do it with grace and strength, in Him!

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