"You know everything about me! You know what I'm thinking, you know where I'm going in life, you can tell when I'm tired. You know what I'm going to say before I say it! You make me feel protected and safe. I cannot even wrap my mind around the security that you give me!"
Doesn't this sound like the dream relationship? Exactly the way we want our husband to relate to us? We're all thinking "when my marriage reaches this point then we have attained!"
But that paragraph, it's not talking about a husband. This is what David has to say about God. Here is that same paragraph, as it is written in the NKJV:
"O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thoughts afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it." Psalm 139:1-6
When I read that this morning I realized I have been expecting way too much from my wonderful husband. I have been putting so much pressure on him to be my all in all. But that is not what God intended him to be! Yes, we need to grow closer, get to know each other better and I should feel safe when I'm with him. And we do all that. But I'm flawed, and he is flawed and only God is perfect.
When I feel like I am not enough it is God Who says I am redeemed, I am in Christ and I am perfect. That is where true security is. And when we think our husband should fill all of our emotional and spiritual needs we have made him our idol.
So I am on a journey to find my absolute security and identity in Christ and in Christ alone! I don't always know exactly what that even looks like, but as girls on the same journey, let us encourage each other in Jesus! <3
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My dear single girl friends,
I see you being a bridesmaid, again. Watching as your friends get married, one after another. Spending time in an awkward threesome just because you want a little bit of "the old times" with your married friends. Wondering if it will ever be you.
Or maybe you're the hopeful 16 year old little sister, watching your older sister wait and wait as her friends get married and she is left behind, single and alone. And you silently promise yourself, silently pray that it will never be you.
Waiting on your Prince Charming.
And that's the catch. Because you know, I don't believe in Prince Charming. Or let me reword that. I do believe in Prince Charming, but I don't believe he is for you.
Prince Charming is handsome. He is very popular. And he is...well, charming, obviously. And he's being handed a Kingdom that he doesn't even have to work for. And he is not good enough for you.
Now, don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being handsome, popular, hot, or charming. Those are all great traits. But with Prince Charming it stops there.
Let me introduce you to someone else: the Knight in Shining Armor. He may or may not be handsome, charming or popular but he is several other things. He is gallant and chivalrous. He is polite and kind. And he knows how to fight, to do battle for what is right and for those he loves.
I see so many of my dear friends panting and longing after the guy with the perfect hair and the name brand clothes. He is cool because he listens to all the right music and possibly even had his picture taken with a band member. He is fun to be with, if you're with the "in" crowd. He knows all the right phrases to say to the ladies, to make them feel good.
But girls, does he love Jesus? Does he know how to handle disappointment like a man? Does he look out for the unpopular and the uncool? Is he a friend to them? Does he stand up for truth, even if it's not popular?
Too many girls want to marry Prince Charming, thinking they can inspire him to love God more or change this or that about him that isn't quite right. But let me tell you something - You will not change him, he will change you. Because that is the nature of marriage. As the girl, the wife, you will look up to your husband and your belief system will slowly and automatically blend into his. If he carries bitterness in his heart towards anyone it will very possibly transfer over to you. Bitterness is a lethal enemy that is always happy to take down 2 people instead of 1.
Think about it ~ do you want Prince Charming to help you raise your kids in these troubled and dangerous end times? And What about when you are completely undignified as you are going through the pain and trauma of labor? A name-brand t-shirt isn't going to get you very far, but a compassionate man that is used to helping people through anything will be priceless. When your husband walks in at supper time and the house looks like a tornado or 2 went through it, do you want Prince Charming who is used to being served hand and foot, or a gallant Knight who will tell you to put your feet up as he plays with the kids or washes the dishes?
When I say you need a Knight in Shining Armor I'm not saying you're to be a Damsel in Distress. You are called to be a gentle Warrior Maiden, always ready to be a help-meet to your man. Instead of waiting around or flirting with Prince Charming, prepare yourself to be a worthy help-meet to the Knight in Shining Armor God has picked out for you. And above all a servant of the King who loves you, no matter if He has called you to be married or single.
Eternity is not very far away. And I can promise you one thing: when you stand before the judgment throne, being married to someone that wears the right kind of jeans and drives a cool car is going to mean nothing to you. Nothing.
So girls, when you're looking for the man you're going to marry, look past the clothes and the talk and watch how he lives. Find a man that is kind, compassionate, generous and above all has a pure heart after God. And in the meantime, work to make yourselves a worthy help-meet. <3
This has gotten a lot longer than I intended, but it is so important. It is your future. Choose well, please, choose well!
I am on a journey to know Jesus better, and be the wife, mommy and friend that God created me to be, all within the walls of my own little home. <3