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Yesterday morning I woke up and I didn't want to adult. I wanted to run away on a long, long vacation in the sun, where nobody expected anything from me. I felt mentally exhausted, and I felt like a failure. I had gotten upset at my husband the night before when he didn't react to something way I wanted him to {or the way I thought he should}. I felt child-like and ashamed. My house was a mess, with laundry, dishes and unfinished projects laying around. I felt like a bad housekeeper. I had gotten upset with the kids when circumstances were my fault and not theirs. Sometimes I let myself get too caught up on social media and don't pay attention to them when I should be. I feel like a bad Mom. I didn't get my little girl's hair combed and our little boy took his nap with a little ketchup still on his face. I feel sloppy. I read a chapter of the Bible over my coffee, but it was hurried and I felt distracted. I feel like I have no business writing and definitely no business keeping up a blog.
But then God {Don't you just love that phrase? I sure do!} But then God told me something. All my failures? That's not who I am. I am who God says I am: blameless & pure before Him. And then He gave me a verse. "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart." Jeremiah 1:5 I am called. I am called to be right where I am in life. You are called to be right where you are! Before our husbands came into our lives, before the babies arrived, before we had our own house to keep, God placed a calling on our lives to be exactly what we are now: a wife, a Mommy, a homemaker, or a mix of 2 or 3 of those. And it is an important calling! It doesn't matter if you feel like a failure or a mess-up today: you are right where God has placed you with His holy calling, so take heart, and look up! There is no better place to be than in God's will, so you have no need to feel like a failure. {There are times of exhaustion that seem to take over our whole outlook on life, and sometimes, it's ok to take a little furlough and meet a friend for coffee. Even coffee at the park with a friend is a great pick-me-up if you don't have a babysitter for the kids. :)}  But then go home, and rest in the fact that God has called you to be where you are and strive to find joy in all the little tasks that are never finished. Make all those never-ending little jobs an offering of love to Jesus, your husband and to your family. Refuse to give into the very popular lie that your life is about you, because it isn't. I think so much of the discontent we struggle with comes from that lie. And, I can tell you from experience {I'm not going to say how recent! ;)} that it is exhausting to live for yourself. Holding others up to our petty standard is as wearing to our hearts as holding ourselves up to other people's standards. And after you refuse to give into that lie, refuse to let yourself compare your own talents and abilities to other people. God knew what kind of personality and abilities you would have when He called you, and He still thought you would be exactly the right person to fill the shoes that you're wearing right now. So, take heart, dear friend! You are called by the Most High God, and He has a job for you to do! Let us go forth and do it with grace and strength, in Him!   If you liked this post then you might like these!
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Would you like to be like a tree? I know I would. The Bible describes the righteous man {and woman!} as a tree that is planted by the rivers of water, growing strong and beautiful. {Psalm 1} When is the last time you thought about how a tree looks? Like really looks? I don't think I ever really thought much about the anatomy of a tree until I painted one on the wall in the kid's room last week. I painstakingly tried to make every branch and every leaf look perfect. When a branch ended up at a funny angle I wished I could erase it and start over again. But you can't erase paint! ;)  And then I started thinking about what trees really look like. Only fake trees are perfect. A real tree has knots and crooked branches and blemished leaves. Just like us. God uses something that is imperfect but beautiful and strong to describe the life of a person who is dwelling in Him. We are all kind of like trees. We have our little faults and issues and scars, but we are created by a wonderful God. He lovingly designed every bit of us and we need to quit wishing we were different. We need to quit judging each other by any certain measuring stick, because nothing God created is a copy. Instead, let's thank God for making us who we are! We've all had good and bad things that have shaped our branches as they grow and that is what makes us unique and beautiful. If you're like me, you tend to me such more critical of yourself than you are of those around you. We wish we could hide the flaws that sorrow and sin create. We feel too fat or too skinny. Maybe there's a part of our story that we wish we could hide, but it seems to be out in the open, way too easy to spot. But you know, the thing is, we aren't supposed to be perfect. The blood of Jesus has made us perfect in God's eyes and when we're in Heaven, we will be perfect. But for now, we are flawed, and still beautiful. When I quit going for perfection on the tree I was painting and embraced the beautiful imperfection of a real tree instead, it became exactly what I wanted. Not perfect, but beautiful.  So, dear friend, in case I haven't told you recently: You are beautiful. You are strong. You are thriving where God has planted you. Your hurts and sorrows do not make you less, but more You are encouraging. You are lovely. You are important and needed. And you are loved, by God and me. Whether you have gone through a lot of trials or you feel just like a normal person, living a normal life, your life has purpose and beauty. I am so glad God has placed you in my life. You are a picture of Jesus and you mean so much to me! Thank you, for being my friend.  If you liked this post, you might like these:
Recently, I have been learning that I need to tune my ear to hear Jesus calling me away to worship Him, in the busyness of every day. He has created this wonderful "fuel tank" in our hearts that is only filled by time spent in worship. I wrote about how Jesus often calls us to spend time with Him right when we're in the middle of something that is important, in our own minds, just like he called Peter and his co-workers away from their nets. But that is just the first step!  We can determine to instantly obey His calling, but often the storms of busyness still rage in our minds, making it hard for us to concentrate. Then we find that even though we obeyed Him in the instant, our heart is not truly His, ready to rest in His timing. Often, even as I spend time reading His word or singing praise songs to Him, my mind wanders. I'm writing to-do lists in my head, thinking out the text I need to send to a friend and trying to figure out exactly how to finish that fun project I'm working on. I physically take the first step in answering the call of Jesus to come away from the busyness and rest in Him a bit, but my mind is a battle in its own! The devil will do whatever he can to keep us from obeying the heart of the call of Jesus. Thankfully, our Master is also an expert Storm Calmer! He {Jesus} said to them, "Let us go over to the other side." When they sent away the crowd they got into a ship. And a great storm and wind came up and the ship was filling the water! The disciples said to Jesus "Master, don't you care if we die?" And He rebuked the wind and said to the sea "peace, be still." And the wind left and there was a great calm." {Mark 10:35-39, paraphrased} I feel God challenging me to take the next step of obedience - be still. Stepping away is not enough. The disciples were quick to obey when Jesus told them to step away from the multitudes that followed their every move. But when it came to trusting in Him, it was time for another lesson. They could've just kept trying to bail the water out and row themselves to safety. We can try to tame our own mind by using this method or those steps, but in the end, only one thing can calm our ever running minds and turn our thoughts only towards Him! We simply need to ask Him to calm our stormy minds.  When the storm rages in our minds and we can't find quiet in our own heart we need to ask Jesus to calm the storm, as if our life depends on it! Because it does. And then, at the sound of His voice, the quiet will come. Peace, be still. Be still and know that I AM GOD. {Psalm 46:10}  If you liked this post you might also like these:
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I am on a journey to know Jesus better, and be the wife, mommy and friend that God created me to be, all within the walls of my own little home. <3
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